打破你心中的陶罐的人生哲理

2024-07-03

打破你心中的陶罐的人生哲理

1.临终者要告诉你的人生哲理篇一

It was a rainy December day when I knocked on Melissa and Bradley’s door for the first time. I was 1）pregnant， cold， wet and without an umbrella； it rarely rains here. Melissa answered the door， quiet， 2）sullen， with dark bags under her eyes， and probably （definitely） 3）anemic. She devoted all of her time to taking care of Bradley， 4）at her expense. Since his 5）ALS 6）diagnosis， Bradley had become steadily weaker， less capable. Refusing a voice-7）assistive device， he had been reduced to 8）grunts and nods， a barely effective means of communication. He had been robbed of the ability to stand， walk or to use his 9）limbs at all.

Melissa embraced me in the doorway， the 10）desperate 11）grip of someone who had lost hope. She had never seen me. No matter.

12）Hospice does that to people. It makes strangers family.

Melissa took my13）saturated sweater， saying， “I don’t see your wings， but I know they are there. You are surely an angel.” She invited me in， offered me a cookie and showed me a seat.

That day stands out， maybe because Bradley and Melissa are so much like me and my husband. Maybe because I saw my own sullen face in hers. Maybe because of the 14）profound fear that I felt； the fear of losing someone you love so deeply， so deeply that the world couldn’t possibly continue to move around the sun without them.

When you tell people you’re a hospice nurse， the 15）default comment is always， “Oh I could never do that. I would cry all the time.” In truth， those who work in hospice do cry， not every day， but certainly enough. Still， despite the tears shed， there is a real 16）privilege in being at the bedside of the dying. I’ve traded my 17）stethoscope in （at least 18）temporarily） for a laptop. But my hospice experiences are 19）indelibly 20）etched， and what I learned from the dying is important. And worth sharing.

Don’t 21）sweat the small stuff （it’s all small stuff）. At the end of your life， everything that’s not vitally important—oh， let’s say， whether or not your pants are too tight—suddenly seems really unimportant. Ask yourself if what worries you will still worry you in 10 or 20 or 50 years. Answer honestly.

Don’t ignore pains， aches or 22）symptoms of disease. Especially those involving the breast， 23）testicles， 24）bowels or skin. This isn’t particularly deep or moving. But it’s important. These things 25）sneak up on you. Many people wish they had faced their fear， seen the doctor earlier and gotten treatment earlier.

Money is an 26）illusion. You think you need so much. In the end， you don’t really need any of it. 27）Prioritize people and experiences over possession.

The key to a long life？ There isn’t one. But a 105-year-old woman told me she lived to be that old because she， “didn’t take no shit from no one.” The same woman told me that the one piece of advice she’d give any woman is this： “A woman can do any damn thing a man can do. You don’t need no man for nothing.” From the mouths of the incredibly old. 28）Sage wisdom.

Your body is just a 29）vessel for your soul. Quit looking in the mirror. Quit 30）obsessing over your wrinkles， your ass， your dress size. Quit worrying about your hair， makeup， 31）saggy breasts， 32）varicose veins， 33）stretch marks or that 34）mole on your chin （unless it might be cancerous）. Quit thinking about any of that staff. It all fades away， one way or another.

Repair what’s broken. Above all else， at the end of their life， the one regret that every person shares is broken relationships. Whether it’s with your parents， your children or your siblings， if it can be repaired， repair it. Don’t do it to your 35）detriment， but if it can be done， do it. At the end， love is everything.

In hospice there are a lot of tears， and a lot to learn.

十二月的一个雨天，我第一次敲开了梅丽莎和布拉德利家的门。当时我怀着身孕，身上又冷又湿，没带雨伞，因为这里很少下雨。梅丽莎来应门，默不作声，脸色晦暗，黑着眼圈，大概（肯定）是贫血。她的所有时间都用来照顾布拉德利，但自己也付出了代价。自从布拉德利被诊断患有ALS（肌萎缩性侧索硬化症）后，他的身体逐步衰弱，生活能力越来越差。由于拒绝使用语音辅助设备，他现在难以有效地与人沟通，只能发出咕哝声和点点头。他已经完全无法站立、行走和使用四肢了。

梅丽莎在门口抱住了我，就像失去希望的人紧紧抓住救命稻草一样。在这之前她从未见过我。不过这并没有什么关系。

临终关怀就是有这种力量。它使陌生人变成了家人。

梅丽莎接过我湿透了的毛衣，说：“虽然我没看到你长着翅膀，但我知道它们是存在着的。毫无疑问，你就是一名天使。”她把我请进屋里，递给我一块曲奇饼，请我坐下。

那一天很特别，也许是因为布拉德利和梅丽莎非常像我和我丈夫，也许是因为我从她的脸上看到了自己郁郁寡欢的脸，也许是因为我感受到了深刻的恐惧，那种失去你深爱之人的恐惧——你是如此深爱着他们，没有他们，世界不可能再继续绕着太阳转动。

当你告诉别人你是一个临终关怀所的护士时，你通常会得到这种回应：“哦，那种工作我永远也做不来，我会哭个没完没了的。”事实上，在临终关怀所工作的人的确会哭，不是每天都哭，但肯定哭得不少。尽管眼泪没有少流，但待在临终者的床边，未尝没有独一无二的好处。我已经把随身的听诊器换成了一台笔记本电脑（至少暂时如此）。我在临终关怀所的经历让我毕生难忘，而我从临终者那里学来的教训也弥足珍贵，并且值得分享。

不要为小事烦恼（全都是小事）。当你走到生命尽头，所有一切不是生死攸关的事（比如裤子是否太紧）似乎一下子变得不重要了。问问你自己，你现在所担心的事，在10年、20年或者50年后，是否还会让你担心？实话实说吧。

不要忽视疼痛和病症，尤其当其关系到乳房、睾丸、肠道或皮肤时。这并不是什么特别深刻感人的道理，但它很重要。这些病痛会偷偷地侵袭你。很多人都希望自己当初能面对自己的恐惧，早点去看医生接受治疗。

金钱只是一种错觉，你以为你需要很多钱，但是最后你其实一点儿也用不上。比起财产，应当更加重视人和经历。

至于长寿，有没有什么要点呢？一点也没有。不过，有一个105岁的老太太告诉我说，她活到那么老，是因为她“不受任何人的气”。那个女人说，她要给所有女人的一句忠告是：“女人可以做到任何男人能做的事。你不需要依靠男人给你任何东西。”从活到如此高龄的老人嘴里说出的话，充满了贤哲的智慧。

身体只是灵魂的容器。不要再盯着镜中的影子，不要再纠结于你的皱纹、臀部和服装尺码，不要再担心你的发型、妆容、下垂的乳房、静脉曲张、妊娠纹，或是长在下巴上的那颗痣（除非它有癌变的可能）。不要再想这些事。这一切终将消逝，以这种或那种方式。

东西坏了，就去修补。最重要的一点是，在每个人生命的最后时刻，破裂的关系是他们所共有的一个遗憾。无论是与父母、孩子还是兄弟姐妹，如果关系还能修复，就去修复它。但不必剜肉补疮，不过，如果可以的话，还是要去尝试。最终爱是一切。

在临终关怀所里，有的不止是无尽的泪水，也有很多东西值得记取学习。

1） pregnant [5pre^nEnt] a. 怀孕的

2） sullen [5sQlEn] a. 愠怒的，闷闷不乐的

3） anemic [E5ni：mIk] a. 贫血的，患贫血症的

4） at one’s expense 以某人的损失为代价

5） ALS= Amyotrophic lateral sclerosis